I was cleaning out my room and found this in my world history binder from 10th grade. We were assigned to make up a revolution. I marveled at my knowledge of government, and wondered what possessed me to write like this. But I'm starting to see a pattern of writing about monarchs...
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1. Seventeen year-old child of conqueror ascends throne of absolute monarchy. Suspected IQ is the same number as his age. Young monarch spends his days throwing costly balls and gambling. To please the king, any courtier playing against him must tactfully and consistently lose. Government is grossly neglected, and corrupt nobles are left to do as they please. Prices rise, wages drop, and law enforcement declines. All intellectuals who speak out are imprisoned, and nobles and commoners alike suffer. The king loses support, and those against him gain number. All are suffering economically, some are fueled by the idea that the youth is not the rightful ruler, his father having conquered the country. Resentment grows.
2. Enraged population deposits manure into all rivers and wells supplying the palace. General chaos ensues.
3. Moderates attempt a program of reform, and pass an order to register all male citizens in a revolt agreement that states all men as having equal rights and privileges.
4. Nobles protest against moderates, claiming that their social ranks should be maintained. Neighboring countries also send words of warning as the king is a close relation, and a revolution could cause changes in their own countries.
5. The extremists take over and begin throwing all opposers of the revolution to lions. Lions grow healthy and breed. Economy temporarily receives boost from export of lions. Young king becomes officially insane, and throws self to lions.
6. As all resistance is eliminated and the lion trend drops, the terror decreases. It rises briefly when the lions are replaced with wolves, but the major crisis is over.
7. As no power in the monarchy remains, an intelligent revolter rises up and gathers followers with promises of peace and security. Becomes dictator and promptly makes gambling legal. As the lions and wolves have lost their previous jobs, the losers are eaten.
8. People support government because idiots gamble and are eaten and their fortunes are collected as taxes, so taxes in general decrease. Intellectuals survive and the arts flourish due to economical stability and the weeding out of the intellectually disinclined.
